Tuesday, January 29, 2013


This is going to be an extension of both of my last two posts. First, more yellow 70s stuff, second, a continued rant that you may or may not want to read.

This is me last spring. I swear I look so different. The dress is a child's one from the 60s and it's really suffocating. 

I felt like walking wallpaper in 3 different yellow 70s prints on Sunday. This blurry disposable camera picture portrays a blurry version of that.

A real life moodboard of things I've bought recently and other things from my room. All the fake flowers are from the SA, so is the Peter, Mary and Paul vinyl. That was 20p. The fabric in the top right is a psychedelic dress from the 60s and the one on the left is another child's dress from the 60s. Realising right now I own too many yellow 60s dresses. The patch came in a lot I bought from Etsy.

A film picture I took in Iceland in March. The whole place looked supernatural. This particular place smelt of egg, really, really bad.

Ibe and I have done another care package swap. This is the second time and she always sends them in lovely decorated boxes (I apologise Ibe for the mediocrity of my boxes). 

 Picture from a car boot sale.

Picture from a car boot sale.

Unknown source, unknown source.

Some pages of my new journal.

Unknown source, unknown source.

Unknown source, unknown source.

Washington state feature, National Geographic, 1946.


I feel like I've been asking questions more than sort of, dispensing my own thoughts, so I'm going to try and be more sure of what I'm saying which might seem pretentious and contrived but it also might trick my own self into believing that I'm certain of my own beliefs.

After my last post, I received loads of tumblr messages and comments and a couple of emails and everything was really lovely and I thank all of you! It was all really positive and it's made me clearer of my own views. I've also read more stuff on the internet and I feel really good about it.

I think I've come to the conclusion that I should be doing things because I want to, and for myself. It's relatively easy for me to say this because from the age of 11 I've only really been surrounded by girls, because I go to an all girls school which has a very pushy attitude with grades so the concept that men are superior to us in the workplace etc, we were aware of, but didn't think much of, because of the 'U CAN DO ANYTHING' attitude they force into us, which also makes everyone feel like underachievers if they don't do too well so it's a double edged sword. It's only the internet that has opened me up to how sexist everything is, I can't believe I didn't notice some of it beforehand. But yeah, it's easy to say that I don't think I've ever dressed for boys/men. In a naive way, a while ago, I was shocked that it was a thing. So, the patriarchal belief that women only dress and alter their appearance for 'the male gaze' and to be objectified, just ugh. No.

In saying that I felt the requirement to be 'pretty', in my previous post, I was wondering if that made me a bad feminist for sort of wishing to adhere to conventional beauty standards, not unrealistic ones aka white girl on a magazine cover = only definition of beauty sort of thing, but just putting effort into how I look and liking how I look. I've come to also realise that feminism is about doing whatever the you want with your body. It's yours! But you shouldn't oppress others in doing what you want, too, obviously. It got me thinking about what 'ugly' means and whether 'ugly' as an insult exists. I saw this quote that I found interesting:

"there is nothing wrong with being “ugly”
it doesn’t mean anything other than not fitting a social conception of what beauty is: but yes, not all of us fall into that category
I think that is another word we have to stop running from like it is going to bite us if we associate with it, to some extent
I can be “ugly” and I can still be worthy of every respect.  I don’t need people to reassure me all the time that everyone is beautiful on the outside too- yes I know this, but yes, on some level I am a bit ugly and society is never going to change quick enough for this not to be a part of my identity and how I walk through the world.   But don’t try to use my insecurities to silence me.   Perhaps I am ugly.   Hideous.   Sure.   What can you say now?   Is that all you have?   Is that supposed to be enough to break me and kill my confidence?   Why" - feministdisney.tumblr.com

I think ugly is a word that needs to be reclaimed, again, not to be an insult. Does 'ugly' mean that you're just not being conformative to so called conventional beauty standards? This choice doesn't devalue you as a human being! Often, women are lumped into the pretty and the ugly by men and it bases worth entirely on appearance. There is beauty in personality, in creativity, in morals, in intelligence as well as appearance, and the idealistic view some men have of women is simply unrealistic, but it's the media that encourages this view (cough, photoshop, cough, girls aren't usually 3 stone heavy).

One of my favourite quotes is 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' - I think beauty is subjective. I also love the quote 'imperfection is underrated' - Helena Bonham Carter (if you are unaware of my obsession with this woman you've been living under a rock). I think crooked/stained/gappy teeth, wrinkles and frizzy hair (i could go on) - all perceived by mainstream media as things that need 'tackling' are beautiful. If women aren't allowed to age or feel like they have to slightly alter their natural state to be even considered 'presentable', something is wrong. It should be choice.

I've also come to see that having self doubt or insecurities is allowed. Everyone would be condemned if it weren't. It doesn't affect your views on equality and acceptance of every type of person, and the two aren't hypocritical of the other. Everyone has 'down days', right? The days where you feel lazy and unmotivated and you resemble a sloth (plz tell me it isn't just me). But you also have days where you feel confident and driven and motivated.

I wrote this because I think I left my last post without being sure of things, and I've been thinking and writing things down throughout the days that have passed which I've then read up on, I'm still thinking about stuff and shall continue to but this is where I'm at right now. Thank you for reading this feminist foetus' brain drovel.


  1. First of all, I love all of these photos! I have so much dress envy it is just not cool. omg.

    Secondly, I agree with you completely about the word ugly. I kind of feel like it's the entire world that's really superficial, and, though part of it is the way the media forces /impossible standards/ on women and /objectifies/ people a lot, it's not just that; it's a mindset that I think it's hard to get out of. Of course, there is the other side of that too. We should be able to wear/do whatever we want without being judged, and that goes just as much for wearing revealing clothing or makeup or whatever as it does for not conforming to conventional beauty standards. Does that make any sense?

  2. All I can say to this is WOW. Sadly, I am utterly benighted when it comes to feminism, but I agree with so much of what you are saying...begone, "ugly" begone!

    Greta xoxo

  3. Yellow is my absolute most favourite colour so thank you for that dose of inspiration during exam week.

    Again, that was wonderfully written and thank you for sharing it. I agree, I agree! I have very crooked teeth and braces are planned for my future, but I've been thinking about that a lot lately... My teeth have always bothered me but is that because *I* don't like them or because they don't fit into society's ridiculous 'beauty ideals'? Why does thousands of dollars need to be spent just so my teeth can be straight?? I've been intensely considering not getting braces lately... And whether they're something I truly want.
    Anyyywayyss, You're awesome and this post is awesome. That is all. (and I apologize for my consistent extensively long comments!)

  4. I started to write about how much I agree with every inkling basically of this post but then I think it'd eventually just turn into a MHMM YAHUH U SO RITE GRRRL and not saying anything that could really be any worth. I do often think about this whole ugly business, that as an adjective it can affect people so greatly. I mean if someone calls someone/thing ugly, what it really seems to mean is 'I don't find that appealing' and why would you have to appeal to every single person?? Of course it's not that easy in reality to not be a little stung if someone finds you ugly, because nobody wants people to dislike them, generally.
    Another thing that really gets me is peoples' problem with age! I don't understand what is so bad about getting older?? If nothing else it's better than the alternative; dying young. The further on you get in life I think there is only more to be gained. I'll never forget the words of a teacher I once had who was one of the most elegant, classy, helpful and understanding ladies who said that she'd never lie about her age because she's proud of it and what she's done in her life. She'd say 'I'm old', not in the misery tone so many seem to employ when using the phrase, but as a simple statement of fact.
    And a quick PS, oh my goodness that whole part about going to a girls school and the double edged sword I KNOW RIGHT like story of my life.

  5. Really deep thoughts and cool disposeable pics.
    I wish the people I knew in real life were more open-minded like you.

  6. Thank you - this is brilliant. x

  7. Two words: Go girl. Completly love the theme of beauty, natural and how it is portrayed in the media and not something all of us should have to aspire to.


  8. I totally agree with the girl's grammar school thing, pressure to achieve and so on. I can't work out if I think it is a good thing, supposedly it makes boys seem more special than they are when you leave (say other girl-school graduates) but I think it is great for not having that influence and added level of possible insecurity. Now, getting closer to 6th form in which we have boys, it does seem to be worse as the boys who come seem to do it for the girls, and I have heard really inappropriate comments. I suppose they would come at some point anyway, and having it in a girl-majority environment helps as those around are more likely to understand if you call it out. Unfortunately, it is also disappointing in that, despite being a girl's school, hardly anyone identifies as feminist, although that might just be because that environment shields us somewhat from the misogyny there is so people don't recognise feminism is still relevant.

  9. Omg that link to beauty! It's insane and so overhwelmingly white! I never notice things like that because of tumblr etc which shows a realistic portrayal of people but ugh makes me sick :P


  10. You're one of my favourite bloggers! I've nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award :)


  11. First of all, gorgeous pictures! I'm so glad I found your blog through Ophelia Horton's!! That "rant" was perfect in just about every way. Just because somebody is different doesn't mean that they're ugly! I think that we all should realize that, and we should realize that you're not going to be perfect. We can hold ourselves up to such a high standard, especially whenever we're comparing our accomplishment to those of guys. Thanks for sharing! Oh, and I would love if you entered in the giveaway on my blog!:)


  12. I genuinely always feel super inspired when I visit your blog <333

  13. Oh my goodness. First of all, I have just discovered your blog and your photographs are beautiful, You have made me want to dress up in my favourite dress and go find some pale morning sun somewhere and be dreamy. Secondly, I 100% agree with everything you have just said, I think the media's message about 'beauty' is depressing and nauseatingly boring. Thank you for your perfectly inspiring posts x

  14. I agree with you 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', I think beauty should not be "stereotyped", I have crooked teeth but it doesn't mean I am a bad and ugly person. What really matters is what's inside you not just on the outside. The society and the media are telling girls that if you are beautiful on the outside, you are nice and kind and everyone will love you, well that's not true.
    Btw, your photos are really lovely. <3